he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
