Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
