They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
