Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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