Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
