Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
