Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize