i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
