I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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