His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
