google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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