Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
