Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
