mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize