Just mADE A PArabola og urine
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
