Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
