My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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