I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
