I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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