We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
