yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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