Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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