Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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