I just saw a hot homeless man
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
