I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
