Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
