I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
