Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
