well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
