When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
