Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
