Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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