is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize