You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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