okay pat passed out under dana's car
id be glad to
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
