so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
