I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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