Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
