I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize