I just saw a hot homeless man
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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