woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
