your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
