About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
