Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
