well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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