you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i dont even know how to be here
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
