Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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