she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
