is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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