May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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