I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
