Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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