Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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