Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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