Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize