Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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