What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
