can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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