So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
