The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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