i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
